My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
