just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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