So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
