you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Even my vagina gasped.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
