yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
