I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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