bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
