i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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