if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
You did what with his pubic hair?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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