I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
