I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize