Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Its about making memories worth repressing
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Randomize
