So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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