he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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