I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
You don't make any sense
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