Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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