So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
COCAINE IS GR8
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
