Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
