nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
