Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
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He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
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Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
i believe in u and ur pee
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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