So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
