Your face is a jimmy john
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Randomize
