So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I think your dad took our porno
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
