Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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