I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
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you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
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So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
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