I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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