are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
