i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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