theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
