Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
