Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
