Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
