I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot