Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i think my mom watched the whole time
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND