He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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