Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
