Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
