There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
