So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
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