dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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