Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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