i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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