i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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