You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
