i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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