i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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