i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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