how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
