I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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