i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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