I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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