im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
