Plan B is the new Plan A
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
