By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize