And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
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She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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