He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
you had me at cake vodka
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
