never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
