am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
