Me too!
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
